Starting the journey

Ensuring your child's happiness is key to finding the right school. In this chapter, Matthew explores the pressures around school choice – including the inherent risks of parental ambition – and why corrosive tutoring might get a pupil over an admissions hurdle but runs the risk of causing problems in the future.

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Is your child happy? It may sound a silly question but we should start here as this is the point from which everything else flows. Helen Skrine, the former Headmistress of Belmont Prep in Surrey, summed up happiness in children as follows: 'Healthy and happy children are those who eat and sleep well. They are loved unconditionally, allowed to make mistakes and are learning to be independent in their thoughts and actions. These children are becoming emotionally intelligent and resilient and have the self-knowledge and compassion to form strong relationships. They have high levels of self-esteem and independence, and understand that their self-worth is not bound up in their academic, sporting or artistic achievements but more importantly in meaningful human interactions and their ability to make a contribution and to voice an opinion. Moreover, in the words of the poet Rudyard Kipling, healthy and happy children ...can meet with Triumph and Disaster; And treat those two imposters just the same.' ²

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Disclaimer: Independent education has a wide range of views and the use of quotations does not imply that these contributors share the same views as the author. The views and opinions of the author may also not necessarily be shared by all schools mentioned in this book. The author and publishers do not warrant, to the fullest extent permitted by applicable law, that the contents are error-free and shall not be liable for any loss, however arising, as a result of the information contained in this book.

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