Parental pressure

As a parent, how do you get the balance right between encouragement and being too pushy? In this chapter, Matthew treads carefully through the difficult issue of parental ambition and highlights the critical importance of the need for a strong partnership between parents and schools.

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In the first chapter of this book, I referenced Larkin's This Be The Verse as it's something which often comes into my mind as a parent. It's not the first expletive-laden line which has the impact but the second sentence: 'They may not mean to, but they do.' And at the heart of that is often the problem of parental pressure.

You love and cherish your child. You want the very best for him or her and you want them not to fail or be upset; to achieve in areas where perhaps you didn't. You encourage them and nurture them; try and give them all the opportunities to find their passions and interests so they can succeed and be happy. But in the vortex of school life, that encouragement can become unhealthy and too pressured if you don't regularly check yourself. You can always see it in others – the parent who encourages too much, that unhealthy vicarious ambition writ large. But how do you see it in yourself? How do you get the balance right between encouragement and being too...

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Disclaimer: Independent education has a wide range of views and the use of quotations does not imply that these contributors share the same views as the author. The views and opinions of the author may also not necessarily be shared by all schools mentioned in this book. The author and publishers do not warrant, to the fullest extent permitted by applicable law, that the contents are error-free and shall not be liable for any loss, however arising, as a result of the information contained in this book.

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