Emma McKendrick

"The first thing we want them to be is kind, actually, and we want a culture of kindness because the world's just a happier place if everybody is kind and they look after each other. And we want them to be aspirational as well, because you want them to have that balance of, you can be kind, you can be highly aspirational and successful, and the two can sit very nicely in tandem. So it's about having that balance of, I'd say, hopefully a quiet confidence in each of them and trying to build up that culture of kindness, aspiration and respect for those around them. That's what we're aiming for really."

Putting aside academic results, what therefore do you feel that success looks like for a Downe House pupil?
"Do you know, in all honesty, if they leave us and they are comfortable in their own skin, and they have a sense of who they are, and they can embrace that, that's success. If they know I have a value that I can take out into the world, not a sense of entitlement, not arrogance, but just, you know, I've got a duty to give back, but I also know how I can give back. And I'm happy to have a go at something. If they've got the confidence to have a go, try different things out and not mind whether it's... you know, aim for it to be a success. If you want to be... Also, it's not for me to mind what you want to be in the future. If you want to be a top flight vet, that's fantastic. If you want to be, you know, an astronaut, that's great. If you want to be a hat designer, that's great. Just be the best that you can be. And that for me is, is success that their success comes from, they accept who they are, and they take their talents and they use them to good."

If you were to ask a group of recent leavers, what they remember most fondly about their time at Downe House, what do you think they might say?
"Well, I might hope they would say their wonderful physics lessons and French lessons and so on, but actually the reality of the things that they will remember are the friendships that they built. Because that is so important to you. And it's a great gift. They will remember many of the other things that they've done, the triumphs on the lacrosse pitch or the hockey pitch or the moment they got onto stage and they all performed in a wonderful play. Those are often the things that they remember and being part of a community. The thing that when we say to them, what's the one thing that's really important to you, they will say that sense of community that we're all achieving something together. That's probably the answer that they would give."

Now, Emma, I asked you to see if there was an object which nicely captures the spirit of the school. What have you managed to find and perhaps bring along?
"I hope you can see it. A lovely, globe-esque gift that was given to me. And I chose it for three reasons, really. One, because it was a gift and I think there's a spirit of generosity that is just lovely the way people look after each other. And I hope that encapsulates that coming back to that bit about being kind and looking after people. It's also quite outward looking. We've got an amazingly big global programme that we run, which is really important to us. And the girls really appreciate that, I think, and they appreciate that experience that they get. So it sort of encapsulates that programme. And it almost I hope says there are no limits to what you can achieve. You could go out into the world and it's a challenging place. They'll often hear that, but it's a place where there are masses of opportunities. And if you go out with the right confidence, you can embrace those opportunities."

As a final question, how do you reassure parents in the current economic climate that independent schooling is still the right choice?
"I think because you will get an excellent academic education. That I hope is a given, and I don't mean that in any complacent sense at all, but you would expect to provide a really good academic education. For me, it's the breadth of things that you're able to offer in the independent sector because we've got the time, often we're very, very fortunate to have the facilities and the space and the staff who are thrilled and also have the time to share their interests. So you can take the curriculum and take it far beyond the classroom and the exams. You can do your sport, you can do your drama... you can go out into the community. You can build those interpersonal and those flexible skills... skills of adaptability. They're meeting so many wonderfully interesting people all the time. And they're very, very fortunate to have that, but by doing that, they also develop those skills which I think are going to be key in the workplace, not just now, but also in a workplace that's changing. Those sort of soft interpersonal skills are going to be fundamental. They're the bit that AI can't do. And actually, we really want them to have that. So I suppose it's that breadth of exposure that I think is so important. We're so fortunate to be able to give to our young people. So I think that's the value and the care that they will get. They will get phenomenal care as an individual, again, because we're very blessed to have the resource to do that."

And if a parent was trying to decide between a co-educational school and a school like Downe House, which is all girls, I mean, with so many schools also shifting at the moment to become co-ed, how would you reassure parents that actually, it's not co-ed they want, it's all girls that they want?
"Do you know, there's a place for both. But for me, it is, I never want young people to be limited by their gender. So the wonderful thing about being in a girls school, you can do anything. The pupils are examples, there's nobody telling you anything is gender specific. So you're never limited by your gender. All things are possible. You've got amazing role models to take you through. Also, you've got really specialist care, both in terms of teaching and pastorally, particularly between about the ages of 13 and 16, 17, when it is quite tricky. And you will have people who will help you to build up your confidence, who know what it's like being a girl. And also, you know, I think, going back to those interpersonal skills. When you're in a single sex setting, and we go out a lot, and we do a lot of things with other schools, boys schools, co-ed schools, local schools, they learn social skills in a way that you often don't in a co-ed setting, because the boys and girls are self sufficient. Our girls are going out and they're learning those and when they go into the workplace, they're used to making connections with people they don't know. Because that's just part of what we're doing with them every day. So I honestly think it's about growing their confidence. It's about them not seeing any limits. And it helps them to develop skills that will be useful for them ...and phenomenal friendships!"

Emma McKendrick was talking to Attain's Editor, Matthew Smith.